Edgar's
Story of The Bicycle
Edgar began, "When I was young our family was very poor. I had always wanted
a bicycle but my father could never afford one for me. One morning he got up and
looked out the window. There, leaning against the house was a bicycle. My father
said, "Edgar, where did you get that bicycle?" I said,  and these are Edgar's
words, "It's like this father. Last night as I was walking home, a girl came along
riding the bicycle. She said,'Hop on! We'll go for a ride.' So we rode for awhile,
then she steered us into the park. We sat down on the grass for awhile. Then we
lay down on the grass. Then, she took off her panties, and said, 'Edgar, you can
have anything you want.' The pants didn't fit, so I took the bike."

For a minute you could have heard a pin drop in that auditorium. Then the laughter
started, and rolled until the rafters shook

Those poor ladies must have been scandalized. As far as I know, none of us even
bothered to thank them for their kindness. We were probably preoccupied with
plans to seduce their daughters at the first opportunity.
In St. John's there was an establishment that rented pedal bicycles. For a few
dollars you could get a bike for a day, and another chap and I used to rent them
to visit a couple of girls at Donovan's Siding, near Topsails. But this tale is about a
Saturday just after payday when three of us, Crandal, Barney, and I decided to
get some liquid refreshments, rent some bikes, and pedal out to Bowring Park.

We went to the liquor store on Water Street and bought some Sloe Gin, because
in our unsophisticated taste for booze we thought it would work slowly, some
Teacher's Highland Cream, because we thought is would be rich and creamy, and
a bottle of the good stuff, Canadian Rye Whiskey. Then we set off for Bowring
Park.

After a couple of snorts out of each of the bottles the inevitable happened. Soon
we were riding up and down the walking paths, strictly against the rules, of
course, bumping into each other, and enjoying ourselves immensely. We were
soon ushered out of the park and we headed for home.

One of the bikes developed a faulty wheel, a condition that was not improved by
getting a few kicks from an army boot. We returned the bikes to a very unhappy
bicycle shop owner. I don't remember, but I hope we paid for the damages.

Crandall,  mentioned in this tale, was killed in action.
I Become "D" Coy, Company Clerk
One day I was summoned to "D" Company's office and was offered the job of
Company Clerk. The clerk who preceded me was a pleasant chap, somewhat
older than the rest  of us and probably because of the age difference did not
associate with us. He was also a drinker and I think that is why he was replaced.
We never saw him again.
Having a grade 10 education I was probably one of the better qualified
academically to fill the vacancy. The job would be interesting, not too arduous and
best of all would keep me off the parade square. Although I would still have to go
to training exercises I was exempt from the daily grind of small arms training and
other maneuvers. Of course I accepted.
As Company Clerk my job was to keep an account of the details of the
happenings in the Company, such things as , "Sick Report", "Absentee Report"
and a "Parade Report", "Detention Report", etc., and to turn in a daily report to
Major Parker. It was not easy to juggle the figures and I was often tempted to
cook the figures, a little,  to make them jibe. But, I didn't though it was quite an
accounting procedure for a 19-year old.